Change Your Story to Change Your Life


This post is part of our #indulgeU2016 series
May is traditionally a celebratory month for women, and more specifically mothers. In addition to celebrating this month, we’ve decided to focus on empowering – encouraging women (myself included!) to take a look at the beliefs we hold and the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.

According to Tony Robbins, a life and strategy coach to some of the world’s most influential people, “We all have stories—narratives we tell ourselves about why we can or cannot do or achieve something in our lives. Whether we believe we can or can’t, we’re usually right, because our expectation controls our focus, perceptions, and the way in which we feel and act…A disempowering story is one of the things that controls people and makes them stuck in their beliefs.”

This month as part of our #indulgeU2016 challenge we’re asking two things:

1. What is one story you’re telling yourself that is holding you back? In the Underpinnings dressing room it might be “I’m not [__________] enough to wear this”. In life it might be “I’m not smart enough to get that job” or “I won’t bother with a relationship because I’ll only get hurt”. Identifying that story (also referred to as a limiting belief) can be difficult because we may have repeated the thought to ourselves so often that it feels like fact, however if you look at your own life objectively or at someone who is doing something you admire it is very likely that you can find evidence to support a different, more empowering story. Which brings me to the second question,

2. How can you replace that limiting story with something more empowering that you can believe? In the dressing room it may be by becoming open to looking at yourself with new eyes. Have aspirations for a promotion? Identify the actions that others have taken and get to work – it may mean networking to make yourself more visible or it may mean beefing up your qualifications. Reframe what it means that you have had previous relationships which did not work out – instead of thinking that you will only get hurt, consider that you may now have a better sense of what’s important to you in a partner which will bode well for a future relationship.

The key to changing your life is changing your version of the story so that you are in control of the outcome, rather than being a victim of your history or circumstance. ​